Am I Ready?

It's about that time...school time. Being that I'm a school-teacher...it's almost time for summer break to officially end. I've been working in my classroom...for only one day so far...but I'm going back in today to try and get as close as I can to be ready. So, this is where I am. Am I ready? Yes and No. Yes because I haven't done anything really work-related all summer. I think I spent a couple hours working on curriculum, but that's it. It has been amazing, everything that I dreamed it would be.

On the other hand, I'm not ready. I've gotten into the groove of the easy life...hanging with the family and just enjoying everything. It'll be good though...teaching is something that I truly love so I'll have to ultimately lean towards ready. This summer gave me much of the rest I was needing mentally. It's time to impart knowledge on small children.

This question also addresses where I am musically. Currently I play a couple string instruments on the weekends at church. Am I ready to step up and sing...lead worship even? It's something that I've done in the past but it's been a long, long time. I've thoroughly enjoyed being able to step back and just play an instrument...but it may be time to add something. I'm inching ever closer to saying...or e-mailing...I'm ready. It's tough because I want to make the right decision. I've been praying about it for awhile now...wrestling with it. Ultimately, it's not about me. The ability to participate in worship by being up front...being a lead worshipper has been amazing. I just hope that if I were to step into a leadership position, as far as singing goes, that I would be able to maintain the level of intimacy I feel as I rock out my guitar or bass or whatever.

I can be very critical on myself. I guess it's something that I've always done as I grew up playing music...the critical part of me. I just have to remind myself that I play for a totally "different" audience...God. I have doubts and am still wrestling...praying...and that's where I am.