Like It Was Yesterday...

It was cold outside. You know where it's cold enough to almost freeze the inside of your nostrils. It was November 2003. I had graduated college earlier that year in the spring and moved to AV from Montana to teach 8th grade/11th grade world history. Life was in a state of transition. I was in a state of transition. Everything had and was changing around me. It was a little scary since I was so far away from home. I really didn't know what the future had in store so I was focusing on the present. The point where God got my attention...I remember like yesterday.

My relationship with Christ was becoming real again. I was attending a very small church in Ironton at the time...Crystal grew up in the church. The experiences I had in college saw me drift away from God, but as I look back I see that He didn't go anywhere...it was me. It was a rough time...where I almost regret some of the stuff I did...but at the same time I'm glad I went through them. All of those things have added to the person I am now...today in 2008...the recent 28 year old.

I was going through a time of questions and doubt. What was I doing? Was I doing what I was supposed to be doing? It seemed so since I was the only hire that year (there were other hires but I was the only classroom teacher). I had been getting better at playing the guitar and had been put in the position of leading worship since the church was in a time of transition too...in between pastors. Crystal and I designed the services and did just about everything but preach. We even spent our Saturday nights cleaning for the next morning. Wow...what a time. I haven't thought about that for a long time. Okay, back to what I was saying.

I was in a state of confusion. It seemed like I was doing what God was wanting...but things didn't seem to work out. I had gotten into a little bit of a "disagreement" with the new pastor concerning music and my guitar. I was told something about my guitar that had me not wanting to play anymore...something along the lines of "sounds like you're beating on a drum." Also, there was a reinstitution of the Doxology every Sunday. Now, the Doxology isn't bad...the way it was being forced upon us though had me in disagreement. If felt like religion was taking over...as opposed to Christ.

It was the last Sunday in November...2003. Crystal and I were very hurt by conversations had with the pastor and were leading worship that morning. As we sang the Doxology...I felt like we were finished.... This was a huge revelation since Crystal had gone to this church since her childhood and I attended since I moved to AV. We had great times there...great people...great memories. We had an opportunity to do some awesome stuff while we were there. Now what God? Now what...is pretty much all I thought about that day.

The night before we had talked about checking out the David Crowder Band. At that point in time I really didn't know who they were. I had purchased the cd Illuminate by chance earlier in the fall and had fallen in love with it. At that point I thought...wow...worshipping God can sound like this? The song I fell in love with...and still love all these years later was...is O Praise Him. God got my attention through that song. So, Crystal and I decided to look on the internet and see if the DCB was playing anywhere near. We found out that they were playing...along with Chris Tomlin and Louie Giglio speaking...the next night up in STL. We bought our tickets on-line and printed them out...ready to go after church Sunday.

It was a Passion event that had worship open with Chris Tomlin, Louie Giglio then spoke, then the DCB closed it out. God was there. It was the first time that I can honestly say that I've felt in the presence of God...worshipping with 4,000 other people...everyone singing their heart out...and listening to an incredible message from Louie that felt like a punch in the face. I was awakened...this is what life could be like...my relationship with Christ?! The thing that capped it all of was that the DCB played the Doxology during a call to worship unlike anything I had experienced. Louie told a story about 1st century Christians and how they had a call to worship that involved reciting this prayer together and the keeping of a candle lit in the church of the Holy Sepulchre. We left that place on fire...and have been ever since.

The video at the top of this post is accompanied by the song O Praise Him by the DCB. I love it.... This is how we, as Christ-followers, should roll! The experiences of life are a result of God's planning. I've gotten a lot better about keeping this in mind. I've been a part of two churches before I become involved with the place I currently call home...Meadow Heights. I played music at both...lead worship at both. Those experiences molded me into who I am today and the type of musician I am today. I also lead in other capacities...including youth leadership...working with high school kids. Even though I don't do that currently...it helped mold me into who I am today. I say this because at the time I didn't agree with God as to why it was time to move on. The smaller church showed me a lot. It was time to move on though...grow...God had other plans. This lead me to another church in AV. Again...the experiences there grew me spiritually and as a person.

Again it was time to move on...which leads me to today...getting to play a part musically at Meadow Heights. I've grown spiritually and musically...as well as personally. I'm thankful for all of these experiences...as painful and confusing as they were at times. I spent a lot time praying...looking to God. I currently try to stay in the midst of what God is doing...asking to play an active role. I have to admit it's hard to think that way...pray that way...because it doesn't always make sense. It'd be awesome to be able to continue with MH until I die...but that may not happen. I'm not going to worry about that though. Thank you God for everything! Here are some passages that remind me of how important our time is:

I do want to point out, friends, that time is of the essence. There is no time to waste, so don't complicate your lives unnecessarily. Keep it simple —in marriage, grief, joy, whatever. Even in ordinary things—your daily routines of shopping, and so on. Deal as sparingly as possible with the things the world thrusts on you. This world as you see it is on its way out.
1 Corinthians 7:29-31

So let's not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don't give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith.
Galatians 6:9-10

Get along among yourselves, each of you doing your part. Our counsel is that you warn the freeloaders to get a move on. Gently encourage the stragglers, and reach out for the exhausted, pulling them to their feet. Be patient with each person, attentive to individual needs. And be careful that when you get on each other's nerves you don't snap at each other. Look for the best in each other, and always do your best to bring it out.

Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.
1 Thessalonians 5:13-18

And now I have a word for you who brashly announce, "Today—at the latest, tomorrow—we're off to such and such a city for the year. We're going to start a business and make a lot of money." You don't know the first thing about tomorrow. You're nothing but a wisp of fog, catching a brief bit of sun before disappearing. Instead, make it a habit to say, "If the Master wills it and we're still alive, we'll do this or that."
James 4:13-15

Take the old prophets as your mentors. They put up with anything, went through everything, and never once quit, all the time honoring God. What a gift life is to those who stay the course! You've heard, of course, of Job's staying power, and you know how God brought it all together for him at the end. That's because God cares, cares right down to the last detail.
James 5:10

How Awesome...

We recently purchased a new vehicle...and with a new vehicle comes new license plates.
If you'd like to see a picture of the new plates...click here.

The new Missouri license plates come with an added bonus: a grammatical error. The plates identify Missouri as the "Show Me State," rather than the grammatically correct "Show-Me State." This is, of course, Missouri's nickname. It replaced Missouri's previous state nickname, the "We Talk Good State" ...

From the "slices" section of Relevant Magazine

Back to the Blog...

You've got to love long weekends. There's just something about getting an extra day or two off. I'm just beginning a four-day weekend...day one is about over and there are still three to go. Like I've stated in earlier posts, the school year is not going like I had envisioned. It messed me up to the point where I didn't get a chance to post for Friday...I was too tired. What?! Yes...too tired. I couldn't even think so my wife as gracious enough to act as a guest blogger, which was awesome by the way. I was sleeping. Now...after having experienced one day off...I'm feeling better. This break comes at a perfect time, a time for me to relax, refresh, and reflect.

First...I turned 28 today. 28 years...wow. I'm happy and content with my 28 years. My experiences have shaped me into the person I am today...I thank God for that. I now have a wonderful family which consists of a beautiful wife and an amazing baby girl...who just turned two on Tuesday. I'm incredibly blessed despite a lot of the "problems" I think I've got going on. It's all in how you look at it.

Second...I wanted to go to the river today and just sit...enjoy the sunlight, water, and listen to music. The weather didn't cooperate though...so we decided to make a quick trip to STL with some friends. Normally I don't get too bummed out by something like that...plans getting messed up...and I'm glad I'm back to myself somewhat. Spontaneity...if it happens...awesome...and if it doesn't...we'll figure something else out. The alternative ended up being just as enjoyable...hanging with friends...good conversation...good food...just...good. We ended up going to lunch at Red Robin, which is always awesome, then we went to Costco and I purchased a new iPod to replace my old one...my birthday present. I'm now waiting for it to fully charge so I can mess with it. I've got some new cd's that I need to put on there...videos too.

I love that tomorrow is Saturday and I get to sleep in...as much as I can anyway...sorta depends on Sarala. I don't have to play music though this weekend...anywhere...which hasn't happened in...months? Hmmm...it's a blast to play...I've played a little lead guitar, acoustic guitar, and bass...but it'll be good to have a break. I think we may try to go back to the river...I know we're planning on going over to a Labor Day function that occurs on an annual basis at the residence of some friends of ours. It's always a blast...or B-A-L-S-T as I've heard someone say.

So, I leave you with this...enjoy the weekend. Even if you have to work...enjoy the weekend. Make sure you take a Sabbath...it's a necessity...even God rested.

Birthday Party...

Sarala had a blast. It's exciting to watch how excited she gets when she sees things she likes...like Elmo for example. Out of all the stuff...people...presents...cake...she was, and is all about the Elmo balloon. I love it. There were a lot of friends and family present to help celebrate her 2nd birthday. She is loved. I'll post some more pictures as I have time...but now...it's actually my birthday. The big 2-8. What to do...no school...lunch at Red Robin maybe...new iPod maybe...? We'll see....

From the Wife...

So yeah, that's me. Wade is wiped. He had a rough day. I think he is just tired. You know how that makes everything worse? It was a stressful day but when you look at the "big" picture, really all is well in our world. We are blessed. He just needs to, as we often tell Sarala, "take a rest." Being tired has a way of "making a mountain out of a mole hill," if you will. So he is getting some sleep. Plus we have a four day weekend. That is very rock'n. Wade b-day is Fri the 29th, so that will be fun! Wade was worried about his blogging community because he always tries to post at 12:01 a.m. everyday. So I told him that I would take care of you guys. I really do not have anything intelligent to say. I just thought he should really get to bed and this worked!! I did hear an interesting quote by David Crowder that has played over and over in my head. It was, "There is a difference between compassion and justice. Compassion is like seeing people drowning and you jump in and pull them to safety. Justice is swimming upstream to see who is throwing everyone in the water." I often see things around me that must change. All around us people are hurting, children are hungry, there are hearts that are lonely, lives crumbling, addictions winning, families sinking.... I try to do what I can. With a list like that, I feel very small. So, what do you think? I know as Christians we are called to be compassionate but what about the one throwing everybody in the water?

Oh Stop It...!

Let me tell you why you are here. You're here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You've lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage.

Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.
Matthew 5:13-16

The words of Jesus are pretty amazing. I say "are" because they are relevant today...living...now. I start with this because I'm struggling. The start to my year isn't anything like I envisioned. We just celebrated...unofficially I guess...my baby girl's 2nd birthday. The "actual" b-day party is taking place on Thursday at 6:30 pm at Fort Davidson Park in Pilot Knob...so if you're around and want some "Elmo's World" cake...?

Okay...back to what I was saying...Should be a glorious day right...? It is...but then there's a lot of other things going on that cloud my mind. I'm trying not to focus on negative things but it's gotten the best of me lately. For example...I found myself sitting at the lunch table adding to the negativity on Tuesday. Seriously? Yes! Stupid! This isn't like me. I don't do this...what the heck? Somehow I'm letting things get to me that normally don't bother me. Hmmm....

So...as I thought about it...I need to keep the "big" picture in mind...perspective. I'm in the lives of these children for a reason. I can't let circumstances, issues...whatever keep me down. I've got to "bring out the God-colors in the world" which basically means that I need to "stop it." Stop whining, complaining, worrying, letting frustration win. Easier said than done...I guess...but it doesn't have to be. It's all about choice. I need to choose the next right thing as I go throughout my day. Usually that's how I try to roll...but for some reason I've had trouble lately. It's time to remind myself of some words...from Jesus...from Paul. What am I doing?! I best "check myself before I wreck myself"...Ice Cube?

As Paul says below...I need to "Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air...."

Do everything readily and cheerfully—no bickering, no second-guessing allowed! Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society. Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God. Carry the light-giving Message into the night so I'll have good cause to be proud of you on the day that Christ returns. You'll be living proof that I didn't go to all this work for nothing.
Philippians 2:14-16

There are a lot of things going on in the lives of my kids and their families. I may be the only smiling face they see or I may provide the only kind words they hear. So...it's time to stop sulking, whining...thinking. I need to get back to what's important...living a life that reflects the change that Christ has made in my life. Why wouldn't I want to share this with everyone I come into contact with?

As I thought about all of this...another song comes to mind. I just purchased the new album "The Bright Sadness" by Charlie Hall. I'm loving it. There's a song on the album titled "Walk This World." It's a perfect fit for a change of mindset, a great reminder.

Walk This World by Charlie Hall
Pre-Chorus:
Broken but singing
Our hearts keep shining

Chorus:
Let my life shine, come and let my heart shine
as we walk the world we lift the bread and wine
Like the stars shine, come and let our hearts shine
In a dark world, we lift the bread and wine


Basically...that's my prayer. Lord, let my life shine, come and let my heart shine as I walk the world. Again...I'm broken but singing...my heart keeps shining.

2 Years Ago...

A brief history. It was two years ago, August 26th, that a 2 lb 5 ounce baby girl was born prematurely in San Francisco. She was born nine weeks early with meth/marijuana in her system, experiencing grade 3 hemorrhage with hydrocephalus, to a mother who didn't want her.






Crystal and I got the call about her on August 29th, which is my birthday. Awesome how that happened! We discussed, prayed, worried, and ultimately decided...Yes! Her doctor took time to take a picture of her with his digital camera and sent us an e-mail with her picture. Beautiful! We were heavily discouraged at first from taking her because of her health issues. It was at that point that I decided to fast...pray...pray that God would heal her. Regardless...this was our little girl. The journey became an amazing one at that point. We'd hear a little here and there from the hospital, but not too much changed at first.

Then we began to hear how she didn't need to vent...the reservoir in her head didn't need to be tapped quite as often. Soon...after 57 days in the NICU...she was able to go to a high-risk medical foster.

We then got another picture from the foster mother...Laura


It looks like she's smiling...sleeping, but smiling. You can see where her hair was cut for her surgery. At that point she was growing, gaining weight...still super tiny, but growing healthier.

Fast forward to March of 2007...March 9th to be exact. Sarala came to Missouri...came home. We met her at the airport.


What an amazing day...journey...time. God at that point had done miracles to get her to us. All of the paperwork went through quicker than usual...her health continued to improve so she was able to come out and live with us. We had to foster her for six months, but we never felt like we were foster parents...this was our baby girl.

The development we got to experience with her was awesome. She grew up before our eyes. I think she was two-month's developmentally when she arrived but blossomed quickly. I thank God for the opportunity to take a month and a half off of school like I did. Then summer came and we spent the whole time with her.

October 2007...her last surgery. Her hydrocephalus and grade 3 hemorrhage had left NO evidence...so the neurosurgeon at Children's decided to take her reservoir out. Scary...but we knew it was necessary. She came through the surgery like nothing happened. She was such a blessing for the people on that floor...it was tough because of all the other situations on the neurology floor at STL Children's.

April 28th 2008 saw Sarala officially become a Buckman. We went out to San Francisco and became her parents. Again...God did miracles with the paperwork to make it happen like it did. It was an amazing weekend...reminder of the awesome-ness of God.



Fast forward to now...she's amazing. You'd never know that she had the problems that she did when she was born. All the glory goes to God on this one. He took...and is taking care of her. I'm thankful for the fact that He put her in our lives. God made me a better person through all of this...continues to do so...as does Sarala. Thank you God!



Happy Birthday Sarala...we love you!

A Break in the Clouds...

This is just a cool picture from Saturday....

Letting Go...

It's amazing how crazy life can get. It doesn't even have to be stuff that is bad or negative...good things can make life busy. The beginning of the school year is always an adjustment and it seems to be more so this year. I don't know but I'm exhausted and we've only been in school for seven days. That's right...seven! So, the wife and I decided to take our small child and dog down to the river yesterday.

It's great to have things like this nearby...makes me not miss living in Montana so much. Black River...more specifically "Kay Bridge"...is where we usually go to hang out and enjoy the water. It's not too much of a drive from the driveway. Just like the weekend before...it was a welcome chance to refresh, reflect, and relax. It's been a catalyst that has forced me to look to God for rest...peace. Water does some amazing things. I then started to think about this song by Chris Tomlin called "The River." What a concept huh? Well, you find references to the "river" all throughout scripture. It's a great picture of how God's love envelops us...washes us...carries us. It's all about us getting in...letting go.

I then decided to make a little video using the song and pictures from our river excursions. Again, it's just another reminder of how awesome God is. The reference for this song comes from Ezekiel.

The River by Chris Tomlin
Chorus:
I can see the river
I can feel the river
I’m letting go of all I hold on to
Let it wash away
I’m standing in the river
And I’ll be here forever
I’m letting go of everything but you
Carry me away

Sarala and the DCB...

God, brilliant Lord, yours is a household name.

Nursing infants gurgle choruses about you;
toddlers shout the songs
That drown out enemy talk,
and silence atheist babble.
Psalm 8:1-2

I love that Sarala loves music. I love that she sings. She especially loves to sing in the car. It continually amazes me and serves as a reminder as to how awesome God is. He's taken special care of this little girl and healed her. She knows and it's something we talk about during our bedtime routine...how she's God's baby and He's taking care of her and how He loves her...as do we. So, the video above is a great example of jam time in the Buckman household. Like I stated in an earlier post, I've been reintroducing myself to the music of the David Crowder Band and Sarala has been there with me the whole way. She loves to sing and try to help me play guitar whenever I get it out...but we've taken a liking to watching concert DVD's. The current favorite DVD right now is the latest DCB release...the Remedy Club Tour Live. It's pretty amazing. The video above is Sarala loving the "la la's" sang during the song "Neverending."

The Simple Things...

It's amazing how some of the simplest things can be what you miss the most when you don't have them or can't do them. For example...I've been sick for awhile and I think something happened to my taste buds. I say this because I regained my appetite this past Monday...after not really having one for almost three weeks. Since then every meal I've had...mostly carry-out or eaten-out due to time...has been amazing. Fried chicken from Fort Davidson, chef's special from the Mexican restaurant, catfish and the fixin's from the Catfish Bowl...mmm, mmm, mmmmm! I don't know...but it all has tasted so amazing, an explosion of awesome with every bite. So yes...I'm glad to be eating real food again...with the ability to taste.

The second thing I've missed is the ability to sing. Now, I don't really "sing" I guess...but I think I'm heading that direction. I sing while I play my guitar usually...but haven't been able to because of the cough/sickness. I sang for the first time tonight...with little Sarala as backup. Wow I missed it. I'm excited to get to sing while I play this weekend at AV...it's just a matter of being able to while playing the bass. So...don't take those little things for granted. Potato cakes...the picture above. Singing and tasting, tasting and singing...things that I never really realized that I loved so much until I couldn't do them.

Surely We Can Change...

So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever.
2 Corinthians 4:16

Once again I'm watching Olympic beach volleyball and trying to get something posted to the blog. I've had a lot of stuff going in and through my head...I just haven't had time to really process it. News, ideas, possibilities, responsibilities...all of these things playing out around me and I feel like I haven't had time to digest. So...I'm once again watching volleyball when I should probably be sleeping.

I love the way Paul mentions this above..."not a day goes by without his unfolding grace." This is where I currently am. I'm trying to move forward but maintain at the same time. It doesn't work too well. It is a choice though. Should I just sit back and "accept" things, or should I pray...look to the Father...continue while resting within the fold of grace. I'm trying to stay focused...but I'm weary. I think I said that last night...in the last post. I think with tomorrow being a Friday and no actual responsibilities...as far as I know...to take care of on Saturday...a Sabbath awaits. I'm usually great about making sure I get "rest" but I don't know what has happened. That's how it goes though. I'm going to continue to push on...making the choice to look to God...stay focused...be a breath of fresh air...living a life that points to something bigger and better.

I'm reintroducing myself to the music of the DCB. I love it. The video above compliments so well what the song is saying. It's up to us. There is this issue of grace...but it's up to us to do something as a result.

Surely We Can Change
by David Crowder
And the problem is this
We were bought with a kiss
But the cheek still turned
Even when it wasn’t hit

And I don’t know
What to do with a love like that
And I don’t know
How to be a love like that

When all the love in the world
Is right here among us
And hatred too
And so we must choose
What our hands will do

Where there is pain
Let there be grace
Where there is suffering
Bring serenity
For those afraid
Help them be brave
Where there is misery
Bring expectancy
And surely we can change
Surely we can change
Something

And the problem it seems
Is with you and me
Not the Love who came
To repair everything

Where there is pain
Let us bring grace
Where there is suffering
Bring serenity
For those afraid
Let us be brave
Where there is misery
Let us bring them relief
And surely we can change
Surely we can change
Oh surely we can change
Something

Oh, the world’s about to change
The whole world’s about to change

Remedy...

This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!
Romans 8:15-17

I don't have a whole lot to say tonight. I'm emotionally tired. The beginning of the school year is always an adjustment, but more so this year because I didn't do anything all summer. It doesn't help that I've had meetings and such that have kept me at school until 5. I couldn't work a normal job. When do you get a chance to refresh, hang with the family, eat dinner? By the time we eat dinner, it's almost time for Sarala to go to bed...then do it all over again tomorrow. Also, I think I'm getting better...but I'm still worn out from being sick.

The subject of this post is the title of a song by the David Crowder Band. I just picked up a cd/dvd and it's pretty awesome. The song pretty much spells it out...we're broken, used, mistreated, abused. My heart hurts from various things I've heard in the past couple days concerning all sorts of things. Mainly, peoples lives are full of rough times and events. The stuff I hear from students at school wears on me, then I hear about some family...then I read the "People" magazine article with the Chapman family talking about losing their daughter.... Couldn't take it at that point. It was then that I was reminded about the true remedy...Jesus. Like the song says...He's the one who saved us, embraces us, bringing relief. Thank you....

Remedy by David Crowder
Here we are
Here we are
The broken and used
Mistreated, abused
Here we are

Here You are
Here You are
The beautiful one
Who came like a Son
Here You are

So we lift up our voices
We open our hands
To cling to the love
That we can’t comprehend

Oh, lift up your voices
And lift up your heads
To sing of the love
That has freed us from sin

He is the one
Who has saved us
He is the one
Who embraced us
He is the one who has come
And is coming again
He’s the remedy

Here we are
Here we are
Bandaged and bruised
Awaiting a cure
Here we are

Here You are
Here You are
Our beautiful King
Bringing relief
Here You are with us

So we lift up our voices
And open our hands
Let go of the things
That have kept us from Him

He is the one
Who has saved us
He is the one
Who forgave us
He is the one who has come
And is coming again
He’s the remedy

Oh, I can’t comprehend
I can’t take it all in
Never understand
Such perfect love come
For the broken and beat
For the wounded and weak
Oh, come fall at His feet
He’s the remedy
He’s the remedy

He is the one who has saved us
He is the one who forgave us
He is the one who has come
and is coming again

He's the remedy
he's the remedy
He's the remedy
He's the remedy

So sing, sing

You are the one
Who has saved us
You are the one
Who forgave us
You are the one who has come
And is coming again
To make it alright
Oh, to make it alright
You’re the remedy
Oh, in us
You’re the remedy
Oh, You're in us
Your the remedy

Let us be the remedy
Let us be the remedy
Let us bring the remedy

The Presence of GOD...

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.
Matthew 6:34

If you live around here, you know exactly where this picture comes from. Plunder Palace is an interesting place. I've only been in there once...looking for something interesting. I didn't find anything that quite suited what I was looking for...but it was an experience. I've always thought that this picture would make for a great blog-post someday. Brian...would love to use this photo in a devotional. I agree. I love that "GOD" is still visible amongst all of the chaos and clutter around it. It's a great reminder of how we need to look at things.

Too often we get caught up focusing on all of the clutter in our lives...even though God is right there...right in front of us. Our distraction could involve things like the beginning of school, paperwork, class management issues, students, getting back to work after not working for a summer, getting the life-group going again, being sick, sadness at hearing about how friends are hurting...the list can go on and on. The key though is that God is right there...as Jesus says above..."don't get worked up about things."

Also, Paul gave us some words in giving encouragement to the Corinthians that apply now...today:

Just think—you don't need a thing, you've got it all! All God's gifts are right in front of you as you wait expectantly for our Master Jesus to arrive on the scene for the Finale. And not only that, but God himself is right alongside to keep you steady and on track until things are all wrapped up by Jesus. God, who got you started in this spiritual adventure, shares with us the life of his Son and our Master Jesus. He will never give up on you. Never forget that.
1 Corinthians 1:7-9

It's all about perspective. We need to make the choice to give our attention to what God has got going on. Sometimes things get crazy...I admit I'm guilty of trying to fix things myself...never works...but yes...God is there. As Paul says..."He will never give up on you. Never forget that." I love that...gives me peace and rest. Now, I'm off to continue to try and rest. I think I'm finally getting over this cough/congestion thing.

The Simplicity of It All...

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
Matthew 11:28-30

I have to admit...I'm tired, worn out...weary. Three weeks of being sick like I've been...the start of school...playing music on the weekends...getting Life-group going again...I'm tired. Tonight was amazing though, a great reminder of how the simple things in life are the most important. I had a chance to eat a real dinner tonight, for the first time in three weeks. I've mainly been subsisting on Campbell's Chicken with Rice or Chicken and Stars...which is my favorite...but it doesn't compare to something like fried chicken. Wow...with a baked potato...mmmmm!

The dinner was complimented by the opportunity to play with my daughter. It's been awhile since I've just gotten down on the floor and played. We had a blast. Then we sat in the recliner and "talked" for awhile. She drank her chocolate milk as I told her about how Jesus took, and is taking care of her...her journey from California to our home...the fact that she's the love of our lives...Crystal and I love this little girl so much. I thought about all of the things that are making me tired and I gave them to Jesus.... The words in the passage above are Jesus' from the Message translation. I love the way it's worded here...so true...so simple...so profound.

So here I am...learning all about living this life freely and lightly...within the unforced rhythms of grace...thank you Jesus.

Good for the Soul...

So, my very dear friends, don't get thrown off course. Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of Light.
James 1:16-17

This picture illustrates the beauty of sitting on the bank of a river on a Saturday morning in August. The temperature was amazing, the sun bright, skies blue, and the water was clear and calm. Even though I was and am sick...it was amazing to get to sit out and soak up some sun. Now...there are all sorts of things that life throws your way. Not all of it will be good. This is where we have to make a choice...as James says "not to get thrown off course." I sat there and thought about all of the blessings in my life...how thankful I am. My family, wife, beautiful baby girl, dog, vehicle, house, job, health (even as it is right now), the list can go on and on. I love the way the light "cascades" down in this picture, which is why I chose to talk about this verse. It's the start of another school year, a new beginning. Don't let life, circumstances, or people throw you off course.

Still Fightin'...

I'm still coughing. Seriously...it's been almost two weeks now. I've gone to the doctor...I think I went through walking pneumonia...but am now on mend. I now have all sorts of congestion...sinus stuff. Ugh! So...this weekend, though filled with guitar playing and visiting family while at the river...should be good. I just survived the first two days of school and yes...survived. It would've been much better had I been better, but the school year looks to be a good one. The kids are a pretty good group, which means I like em'. That's always good. So, as I sit here...still watching the Olympics...watching the epic-ness of Michael Phelps...wow! I'm off to bed...not much to say at the moment other than...enjoy life...God's blessings.

The Important Things...

I do want to point out, friends, that time is of the essence. There is no time to waste, so don't complicate your lives unnecessarily. Keep it simple —in marriage, grief, joy, whatever. Even in ordinary things—your daily routines of shopping, and so on. Deal as sparingly as possible with the things the world thrusts on you. This world as you see it is on its way out.
1 Corinthians 7:29-31

Today was the first day of school. It has come and gone. I am now relaxing...still trying to get over this cough...watching the Olympics. I just watched an American win gold in the 200M breastroke. Amazing. I love the verse above. Paul has laid down all sorts of truth up to this point for the Corinthians. When it comes down to it...it's all about perspective. What is the most important? A song came on as we drove to school...after dropping Sarala off at Daycare. This is what got me thinking about all of this. I love how Paul starts out with..."friends, time is of the essence." The song that puts what Paul is saying here into perspective is "Miracle of the Moment" by the Chapman.

Steven Curtis Chapman - Miracle Of The Moment
From the album This Moment

It’s time for letting go
All of our if only’s
‘Cause we don’t have a time machine
And even if we did
Would we really want to use it?
Would we really want to go change everything?
‘Cause we are who and where and what we are for now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about

Chorus:
So breathe it in and breathe it out
Listen to your heartbeat
There’s a wonder in the here and now
It’s right there in front of you
And I don’t want you to miss
The miracle of the moment

There’s only one who knows
What’s really out there waiting
In all the moments yet to be
And all we need to know
Is He’s out there waiting
To Him the future’s history
And He has given us a treasure called right now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about
And if it brings you tears

Then taste them as they fall
And let them soften your heart
And if it brings you laughter
Then throw your head back
And let it go, let it go
You gotta let it go
Listen to your heartbeat

So, when it comes down to it...right now is what's most important. Like Paul says..."time is of the essence. There is no time to waste, so don't complicate your lives unnecessarily. Keep it simple..." Amazing. So simple yet profound. The thing that got me thinking about all of this was today...the first day of school. We went out to dinner that evening with some friends who have a kindergartner who went to school for the first time. What a crazy awesome thing. We talked about the experience...one that I will experience before too long. Then some other friends showed up at the restaurant and it was great to catch up...see what's happening in their lives. This is what life's about...sharing meals, sharing life, laughter...a sick feeling after a near-choking experience, and like I said...good food. There's no reason to keep drama and craziness around you. Keep it simple...uncomplicated. I'm enjoying Sarala as she grows up...now in the toddler room at daycare.

We were watching some video of her as a baby...which was both sad and awesome. We don't want to go back to that time though...it has passed and was awesome. Now we're just focusing on keeping things simple. Try it...

Priceline...gotta use Priceline!

So, the Buckman's along with some friends went to Chicago about three weeks ago. Like we do for all of our traveling we used Priceline. We always stay at very nice hotels for about half price. So, we used it this time to cover our airfare/hotel/rental vehicle. We traveled American, stayed at the Renaissance, and had a 08' Suburban to drive around. Now, the weather wasn't the greatest while we were there. It rained but mostly while we slept and in the morning.
We get this e-mail when we get home that basically tells us we're getting a refund because of all the rain.... I didn't believe until the check came...which means we essentially had a free trip to Chicago. How awesome! So...if you've never used Priceline...try it out. We always get cheap rooms wherever we go...which we'll bid either on the day of or the day before and get a 4-star for half-off. The Buckman's are now lifetime users of Priceline.

How Awesome is This!?

Roaming gnome returns home

Stayin' Alive...

That's right...the Bee Gee's. Anyway...I'm just trying to stay alive. Tomorrow is the first day of school and though I feel better, I know I won't be 100%. I definitely need to give a "shout out" to soup in a can...chicken & rice, as well as chicken with stars. It's amazing how well the stuff works at getting to your core...getting you better. I can feel it now as I type, working through me...fighting...well, whatever is making me ill. I guess it's probably the steroids that I'm taking...not necessarily the soup...but it's helping...a great ally. And yes...these aren't the "muscle-y" type steroids, but the medicinal-help your lungs type. So, as I prepare to take a nap before my next round of meds...I leave you with this...

So Apparently...

I've got some pneumonia-like symptoms. Just the congestion though...no fever or anything else...but it is wearing on me. I just got home from open house tonight. It's always an intense 2 and 1/2 hours. That's right, 2 and 1/2 hours! So...after eating a bowl of chicken with stars and a bowl of chicken with rice...and a barrage of steroids and such...I'm off to some much needed rest.

By the way...how about that Michael Phelps? Amazing!

Not Much to Say...

Okay...I admit it. I'm sick. I've had this pneumonia-like cough for a week now so I'm going to the doctor. It'll make the week just a little tougher for me since open house is...TONIGHT! The first day is Thursday, but I hope...really hope that I'll be better by then. All of the dust and cleaning supply smells aren't helping. My room looks pretty good though...I must say. So, until later...this is all I've got.

Are You Serious!?

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 12:9

Life seems to pile it on all at once. This is when I think..."Are you serious??" but I may add a "freakin'" in there...which I'm trying to get better about. Usually it happens when you're already worn down, tired, weary. That's how it happens, or seems to happen for me. I don't know what it is. Lately it's been a mental game. I've been dealing with this stupid cough and haven't been getting enough, or much sleep. Thoughts of doubt, lack of motivation, getting overwhelmed by everything goes through my mind. It seems to be cyclical for me too. Whenever something big is about to happen, in this case school, stuff seems to pile it on.

I have to remind myself to stay vigilant in times like this. Too often I try and rely on my own power. I figure that I can usually take care of it. The truth is that I can't...really can't. The state of brokenness usually follows and that's where I look up...instead of inside myself or outward. I reached this point the other day. It's hard to admit, but I wasn't doing well at all. I finally looked to God for help. Then...I received my first night of rest in awhile. A big thank you to my wife...she's always there...pulling for me. I love you Crystal.

The verse above is an awesome reminder for me. It's actually hanging up in my living in poster form. I love it. It's hard though...to get to that point of weakness...to submit and say..."I can't." God can, and will if we let him. So...if you're struggling...all I can say is "Get out of your own way!"

Keep it going...

It's been a rough weekend. My cough has kept me up at night and I'm very tired because of it. I'm sitting here, watching Olympic beach volleyball while Sarala naps. I should probably nap...but again, this cough. I enjoy playing the game...I'm not too good anymore since I don't quite have the "ups" of the old days. I've actually got a couple posts in the works, but that's it...they're just
"in the works." I'm trying to tie the loose ends together and get them posted. So, until Mondays' post...here you go, a post to keep it going. I look at what I've done over the summer of 08' and most of it is logged right here in blog form. How awesome. Until next time....

Am I Ready?

It's about that time...school time. Being that I'm a school-teacher...it's almost time for summer break to officially end. I've been working in my classroom...for only one day so far...but I'm going back in today to try and get as close as I can to be ready. So, this is where I am. Am I ready? Yes and No. Yes because I haven't done anything really work-related all summer. I think I spent a couple hours working on curriculum, but that's it. It has been amazing, everything that I dreamed it would be.

On the other hand, I'm not ready. I've gotten into the groove of the easy life...hanging with the family and just enjoying everything. It'll be good though...teaching is something that I truly love so I'll have to ultimately lean towards ready. This summer gave me much of the rest I was needing mentally. It's time to impart knowledge on small children.

This question also addresses where I am musically. Currently I play a couple string instruments on the weekends at church. Am I ready to step up and sing...lead worship even? It's something that I've done in the past but it's been a long, long time. I've thoroughly enjoyed being able to step back and just play an instrument...but it may be time to add something. I'm inching ever closer to saying...or e-mailing...I'm ready. It's tough because I want to make the right decision. I've been praying about it for awhile now...wrestling with it. Ultimately, it's not about me. The ability to participate in worship by being up front...being a lead worshipper has been amazing. I just hope that if I were to step into a leadership position, as far as singing goes, that I would be able to maintain the level of intimacy I feel as I rock out my guitar or bass or whatever.

I can be very critical on myself. I guess it's something that I've always done as I grew up playing music...the critical part of me. I just have to remind myself that I play for a totally "different" audience...God. I have doubts and am still wrestling...praying...and that's where I am.

Some More Encouragement...

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.
Psalm 34:18

My mom gave me a daily devotional calendar for Christmas. It sits here next to my computer and it's pretty much the first thing I read as I began my day. It's a good way to focus the mind as I began my day. Anyway...there has been a theme lately, which coincides with the focus of my last post. Things happen all of the time that we don't understand or that don't make sense. That's the thing though...it's not about us. Let me share what two of these devotionals have said:
From Sunday...

God uses problems to draw you closer to himself. The bible says, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18).
Your most profound and intimate experiences of worship will likely be in your darkest days - when your heart is broken, when you feel abandoned, when you're out of options, when the pain is great - and you turn to God alone.

This serves as a great reminder. Too often we get in the way of connecting with God...it's not necessarily circumstances or people, but us. Sometimes we let things around us dictate our feelings toward God...where he is working...we may not see it presently.

This brokenness thing is something that I never fully grasped until about two years ago. I nearly lost my mother, then I lost my older brother to suicide. This was really tough because I didn't see it coming...didn't see any warning signs or red flags. I was actually getting pretty excited because my last few conversations with my brother dealt with spiritual things. He was always searching. Our last conversation was about the title of a book in my personal library. It's hard for me to type about his even now...two years later.

The state of brokenness created through the near loss of my mother the previous summer, then the subsequent loss of my brother in February 2006...cemented my belief that God is there...loving, caring, working despite bad things. It was an intense time in my life. I almost felt guilty because I had distanced myself from my family for reasons I may discuss later.

The point of this is to provide encouragement...some of you reading this post need it. Going back to my past weekend and Caedmon's Call...they have a song called "There is a Reason." It pretty much lines up with what this post is about. God works in everything. Listen to this second excerpt from my calendar:
Wednesday...

Because God's sovereignty is in control, accidents are just incidents in God's good plan for you. Because every day of your life was written on God's calendar before you were born, everything that happens to you has spiritual significance, Everything!

I'm going to end with the lyrics to this song...once again I couldn't say it any better so I'll let other people say it.

There is a Reason
Words and Music by Andrew Osenga and Randall Goodgame

late at night I wonder why
sometimes I wonder why
sometimes I’m so tired
I don’t even try
seems everything around me fails
but I hold on to the promise
that there is a reason

late at night, the darkness makes it hard to see
the history of the saints who’ve gone in front of me
through famine, plague and disbelief
His hand was still upon them
cause there is a reason
there is a reason

he makes all things good
he makes all things good
there’s a time to live and a time to die
a time for wonder and to wonder why
cause there is a reason
there is a reason

I believe in a God who sent His only son
to walk upon this world and give His life for us
with blood and tears on a long, dark night
we know that He believed
that there is a reason
there is a reason

for the lonely nights
and broken hearts
the widow's mite
in the rich man's hand
and the continent
whose blood becomes a traitor

for the child afraid to close their eyes
the prayers that seem unanswered
there is a reason
there is a reason

Some Encouragement for Some...

Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.
James 3:17-18

Community, living life together with other Christ-followers can be an awesome experience. It can also be rough, tragic, irritating, and disheartening. I speak through experience on both ends. I thank God for the experiences and things he's done in and around me through everything. Through the awesomeness of God, I've been living life around an amazing group of people this past year. It has been awesome to watch people grow closer together and closer to Christ through all sorts of circumstances and experiences. I pray that this will continue as we get back into the school year and the normal routine of life after summer break.

Lately I've been in contact with people who are struggling...in terms of relationships, people, and circumstances. There is so much I want to say, but then again it's tough. I feel for them. I don't want their relationship with God to suffer as a result of a person, relationship, or circumstance. I've been doing a lot of talking to God as a result. It's hard for me to know what to say.

One of the things I keep thinking about is the verse above. It takes hard work to develop healthy and robust community. The hard work is worth more than we know. The result is amazing. It's up to us to try and keep God at the center of our thoughts. Too many times people, relationships, and/or circumstances trip us up and cause us to lose our true focus.

So...when thinking about what I should say to these people...a passage that comes later in James comes up. Basically...I'll let James take it for a little bit...

Friends, don't complain about each other. A far greater complaint could be lodged against you, you know. The Judge is standing just around the corner.
Take the old prophets as your mentors. They put up with anything, went through everything, and never once quit, all the time honoring God. What a gift life is to those who stay the course! You've heard, of course, of Job's staying power, and you know how God brought it all together for him at the end. That's because God cares, cares right down to the last detail.
And since you know that he cares, let your language show it. Don't add words like "I swear to God" to your own words. Don't show your impatience by concocting oaths to hurry up God. Just say yes or no. Just say what is true. That way, your language can't be used against you.
James 5:9-12

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a musical person. As a result, God does a lot of speaking to me through song. I love it. This past weekend we, the Buckman's, had a chance to listen to one of our favorite groups...Caedmon's Call. What made the experience even more memorable was that we were able to bring Sarala with us. Caedmon's has written a song called "Sarala" which gave us the idea for her name. We were able to get a note for Sarala that was signed by one of the songwriter's earlier in the year. It was awesome to get to introduce her to them...share some of how God has done amazing things in healing her and all...and to get a picture with her. What an awesome thing to have in your scrapbook. She's almost two and I figure...we'll take her wherever we go. She loves music. I love that she loves music. It was awesome to watch her recognize a song...smile, clap, and then look up at us as to say..."hey...I know that song...it plays on my radio."

Anyway...back to what I was saying. One of the songwriters in the band, Andy Osenga, has written a song to his small group...his community where he lives. The song is called "Hold the Light." Below is an excerpt of something from Caedmon's website:

One of those is “Hold The Light,” a song Osenga wrote to his small group. “‘Hold the Light’ is easily the most personal song I've had on a Caedmon's record,” explains Osenga. “So much of this record is about family and community and how they give us strength when we don't have it, and for me, this song serves as the prime example for how deeply that honest community can affect us.”

For those of you to whom this post is directed...I love you and am praying for you. Take heart in knowing that God loves you and cares...knows...and is working regardless of everything.

What are the chances...?

So, we went to Applebee's last night for dinner and a woman in the booth next to us commented on my "Montana State U." lanyard. I usually don't wear a lanyard, but I'm trying to get back in the habit since the lanyard is how I carry my school keys. Anyway...she asks if my lanyard says Montana State? I reply "Why, yes it does." It turns out that I was speaking to a fellow Montanan. She was even from my hometown of Billings...Yellowstone Ave. I totally know where that is.
It turns out that her husband is from Fred-town and she has lived in MO for 6 and a 1/2 years. I've been here about six myself. So, we continued to talk and it also turns out that she is a cousin to another teacher in my hallway. Crazy?! It's not everyday I meet another Montanan. Also, this Montanan being from the same town made it pretty awesome. Small world eh? It's not everyday you roll into...well...anywhere around here and meet someone from Montana. It made my day!

What a Weekend...!

This past weekend was a whirlwind, but it was...as a friend of ours would say...a B-A-L-S-T? ;) Okay...it was very busy but it was an awesome chance to spend time with the family before summer break ends. We're down to a week from today...then I have to report back to work. I've posted the rest of my pictures on my facebook.

Along the side of the highway...

"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.
Matthew 6:30-34

The photo above is of a weed growing along the side of highway 221...formerly highway V. I take this road a lot since it's the way to Farmington and Wal-Mart. I was driving home on the day that we purchased our new vehicle. Crystal was driving the Corolla and I was driving the Bravada. The Bravada is in great working order...except for the A/C compressor...it has essentially "blown up" on the inside...exact words from the person I had take a look at it. Now, normally it is the response to get all worked up about something like this. I was roasting...yes it was very hot...but then I noticed this flower on the side of the road. Oh yeah...the whole reason I noticed this was I was stopped and waiting for the go-ahead to head down the road since the state of MO is doing all kinds of road construction right now.

As I looked at this thing...sweaty as I was...I thought about the words of Jesus. I'm not too worried about getting it fixed at the moment. The money isn't the issue. God has taken care of me...yes, I am worried about not having A/C but it doesn't really matter in the big scheme of things. My prayer is to center my life in "God reality..." as Jesus says. What a thought eh? Enjoy what's left of summer....

Hot Hot Hot!

Now...if you click on the aforementioned title of this post, it will direct you to a video on Youtube done by Appalachian State University...awesome promotion if you ask me. If I didn't already have my degrees'...okay, to the post. I am just returning from a Cardinal's game and man...it was hot. The picture here illustrates the lack of any sort of moving air. Notice the flag is not moving.

It was fun though. Good food combined with good times. A baseball game is a great opportunity to talk to somebody. I went with my father-in-law and it gave us a good chance to talk about all kinds of things. There were also other people around us doing the same thing. Watching some Cardinal baseball and building relationships. They actually won...I've gone a couple times this year and they've lost those games so I was excited to see a winning game...a couple home runs even (1 by Joe Mather and 2 by Ryan Ludwick). Be intentional about being a breath of fresh air...be yourself...the way God made you.

Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.
James 3:17-18

What to Say...?

It has been a crazy two days...and it will remain so until next Monday. Crazy on my account though. My uncle called earlier this week and informed me that he would be in town (STL) on business...flying in Wednesday night and out Thursday night. He then got stranded in Denver and ended up coming in Thursday afternoon and left today. Sarala has a new grandpa that she loves. I love it.

I'm now heading back to STL to a baseball game with my father-in-law. Tomorrow, off to Decatur, IL to listen to some bands (Robbie Seay Band + Caedmon's Call). I'm trying to relish...I guess I'll use that word...my last few days of summer. I'm going to "have" to go back in to work Monday to begin to get ready. All I know is that it's hot outside...stay cool.