The Girls...

God's a safe-house for the battered,
a sanctuary during bad times.
The moment you arrive, you relax;
you're never sorry you knocked.
Psalm 9:9

As the basketball season edges ever closer...I continually realize that I am not coaching anymore. I still get called "coach", but am "retired"...more like "taking a break"...for now. I spent five years coaching high school girl's basketball and loved every moment of it. Since the arrival of the baby girl, things have drastically changed. Perspective now has a much greater scope...thus my "retirement." I was part of some great teams though that accomplished some awesome things...set records for wins in a season, players who scored an amazing amount of points, players who went on to play at the collegiate level, and a chance to head into the state tournament twice. I've had the chance to positively affect lives along the way, while hopefully teaching them something about the game of basketball.

It's now fall and the season nears...I'm not an official part of it. The main reasons are the individuals in the picture above. The girls. I love my girls. My wife has been very supportive during those long stretches of road games in Kingston and Perryville (in the same week) and has cooked many an awesome meal for late-night post-game dinners. The baby girl is always ready with a hug and kiss regardless of the day I've had. It doesn't matter how bad we got beat, how bad we played, how bad the school day was...I could always come home and find rest with the girls. God's in the house...and has blessed me with a wonderful wife and awesome baby girl that I love very much.

I'm beginning to appreciate the time I've never had as long as I've been employed at AV. This is the first year that I'm "just" a teacher. It's been rougher than I anticipated, but I'm thankful for the time. My experience with coaching is something I'll never forget and is something that I'll draw upon if or when I re-enter the profession.

Essentially...it comes down to the peace that God can provide it times of chaos, sadness, stress...etc. I'm blessed to have the support that surrounds me. Friends, family, my wife and baby girl...the time I'm getting to spend with them is awesome. Even when life is crazy...rest and peace prevail. Like the Psalm says above...

God's a safe-house for the battered,
a sanctuary during bad times.
The moment you arrive, you relax;
you're never sorry you knocked.
Psalm 9:9

How Awesome is This?

Yes...

Clarity...

What a God! His road
stretches straight and smooth.
Every God-direction is road-tested.
Everyone who runs toward him
makes it.
Psalm 18:30

Clarity...I look at the photo above and can clearly see a beautiful flower. I saw this flower that way...and am excited that I was able to capture what I saw with my camera. Clarity is not a word I would use to describe my recent mental state. My mind has been a wreck...there...I've said it. It has...and it's very unlike me. I look back at my journey...the past few weeks to be specific and see the confusion, sadness, and anger that permeated every aspect of my life. Usually if school sucks and drains me...I can come home at disconnect. For some reason...I couldn't. I've had many conversations with all sorts of people as to what I need to do about this. Having said that, I'm grateful for the people that God has placed around me. I look at the relationships that I've been able to develop and the rest and peace I've received in return. It's amazing how it works like that. I look at the words in this passage from Psalm 18 and the simplicity floors me...Everyone who runs toward him makes it.

I'm sorry Crystal for what you've had to put up with...with me being all stressed out about work and pouring it out at home. I can only do what I can do...that's it. Your love and support is something that has pulled and pushed me through...even though I don't say it near enough. And...that little girl of ours...amazing. This passage is a reminder...everyone makes it. I'm running towards God...I'll make it. Stop worrying Buckman...keep heading in the direction of God.

Took Some Time...

I'm back. I had to take a little time away from the blog...along with some other things this week. I've spent the weekend hanging out with the family with no real plan. It's been awesome. We spent Friday night at dinner with some new friends, hung out, and went to bed relatively early for a Friday night.

We woke up, ate some fantastic homemade breakfast, took Sarala and the dog to Elephant Rocks to explore, then went up to Taum Sauk Mountain State Park to let Sarala walk the trail to the highest point. She found some acorns, a furry caterpillar (which she called "kitty"), some flowers, a grashopper, praying mantis, lizard, amongst other various outdoorsy things. She loved it.

At that point the Buckman's took a nap...got up and played, ate dinner, and after Sarala went to sleep...Crystal and I just hung out. It's now 10 pm and time to go to bed. I know that this schedule doesn't look amazingly exciting...but it is. It's been way too long since I've just had a weekend to chill, recoup. Even though I'm playing music this weekend, it's been restful, peaceful. The only thing I actually did was continue work on a list of new music ideas for church...things for worship, things that can add to messages, and stuff to play before the worship set. If you have ideas...e-mail me or leave a comment.

Alright...time for some sleep.

My Reflection...

I can't anymore. There...I said it...I can't! I've tried too long to take care of things myself. I need God to "pull me out" of whatever this is I'm in. I'm done. Stick a fork in me ;)

This piece from Psalms punched me in the face today...made my eyes water if you know what I'm sayin'.

But me he caught—reached all the way
from sky to sea; he pulled me out
Of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos,
the void in which I was drowning.
They hit me when I was down,
but God stuck by me.
He stood me up on a wide-open field;
I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!
Psalm 18:16-19

I then looked at my recent playlist of music that I've been drowning myself in a noticed a theme...then this song came up with a knockout punch.... I'm down...I love it...and am thankful that God designed me with a love for music. Music does amazing things. I love to play it and love to listen to it. The lyrics then hit me..."pull me out."
Okay...simple...God...PULL ME OUT!

Pull Me Out by Bebo Norman

Chorus:
I can’t get my feet off of the ground
I wanna run but I don’t know how
Can you reach down here and pull me out, can you pull me out
I wanna scream but there’s no sound
I wanna fly to you somehow
Can you reach me here and pull me out, can you pull me out, yeah

This song fits so well with how I'm doing...so I was messing around with Google Picasa and came up with this...all the photos were taken by me around AV and Montana.

Now What...?

As a face is reflected in water,
so the heart reflects the real person.
Proverbs 27:19

This verse has been a focal point for me in the past couple days. I'm in a strange place right now. Actually...I'm at home, which is strange because I should be working. A sick child has kept me home though. Back to this strange place...I'm talking about my mental state, passion, energy. I'm trying to figure out my next step in life...should I continue education, and if so...in what? I'm also trying to be the best teacher I can be but I don't feel like I'm accomplishing much. We're on the verge of trying something new to do what's best for our kids. Change. I usually don't mind change...but there's a selfish part of me that says..."let's just maintain." I overruled that part yesterday by stating..."Yes...let's go for it." I figured that I'd worry about the details as they come along. So far so good.

I'm having a lot of trouble keeping balance...work and life. I've never had this problem before so it's really affecting me. I should be working on some stuff...but it seems like all I do anymore is work on stuff for school. I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere with any of it. Then there's the deadlines and then more stuff gets piled on. It feels like I'm just putting out small fires all over the place...which are close to becoming one big fire. My home life has become disorganized as a result. The bedroom at home has become quite cluttered as has Sarala's bedroom. Not dirty, just disorganized. I don't want to spend my waking hours just doing "stuff." I realize that I must get this back in order so can I reorder everything else in my life and mind. So...this is the strange place in which I find myself...trying to get out.

Now it's time to check my reflection...does my life truly reflect my heart? My passion and talent...are they being used like they should? Sorting this out may take some time but it's a necessity if I am to get out of this strange place. Alright...enough said...back to some sub-plans for tomorrow, then off to work on curriculum, then to game duty tonight. My life seems like it's been busier this year than ever...and I'm not even coaching anymore or taking classes...what the heck?

Hitting a Wall...

The title to this post is a figurative statement...I didn't actually hit a wall...even though I felt like I could have at times. Something happened. Life became overwhelming. I hit a point last Friday where I couldn't take it anymore. What is "it" you ask? Well...it can actually be a lot of things when you think about it. My job has been the big it of late.

I'm worn out. I'm fighting hard to maintain the balance of my own life and school life and it feels like I'm losing...getting beat down in the process. School life is bleeding...and I say that because it is...into my out-of-school life. It seems like I can't escape bringing stuff home...thoughts...worries...thinking about classroom management...discipline issues...instruction...the list goes on. I don't get quality sleep because of this. I don't know what it is but this year is wearing me out and we're only six weeks in. This is where Sarala enters the picture...like the one above.

She's been a huge blessing when it comes to disconnecting...taking time to play, read books. I know that I read books during my day...teaching reading and all...but there's just something about your baby girl asking "Daddy? Book?" It doesn't matter what is happening around me...this request stops me every time and that's exactly what we do...read a book. Tonight the book was a Sesame Street animal guessing-game book. It's in those times where I regain a glimpse of what life is about. As I type, I have to give props to a post from another blog that I follow regularly. This hit me...I think I've even blogged about this before.

Life has been crazy but I think I'm managing now...since Friday...not on my own of course but with help. The help comes from a peace that only a heavenly father can provide and from the people he's placed in my life. I'm tired. I'm tired as I type this...but I feel compelled to blog. I'm currently working on some stuff for school while listening to the new Bebo Norman album...self-titled. It's pretty awesome stuff.... The blog post from Perry Noble expresses exactly what I'm feeling...exactly what I needed to be reminded of. I don't talk to God about things like I should. I don't talk to the people around me like I should...letting them in to help. I'm also reminded of the love and peace only he can provide because he's listening. I make time for Sarala regardless of what's happening...he does the same with me. Remembering this makes the craziness in my life smaller and quieter. Amazing....

Worn Out...

This past week was incredible in terms of business, craziness, and length. If felt like more than just five days. In those times I'm guilty of trying to go through on my own strength. Every time...every time...I try to handle things myself. Oh...I can do it...is usually what I tell myself. The truth is that I can't. Life can be overwhelming if you go it alone...but we're not going it alone. There is a father that can provide peace, rest, guidance in times of crazy. Here's a song I heard the other day on the radio that reminded me of this...

That's What I'm Talkin' 'Bout....

Reflection...

This is Shepard Mountain Lake. I was able to catch a good reflection one evening about two weeks ago. The stillness of the water is something than I don't usually take time to notice. Lately I've been on the go...rushin' here and there...not "russian", but "rushin'." Take today for example...a day loaded with too much.

So, I sit here and am trying to unwind...clear the mind. It's time to get some rest...slow down...reflect on all of the good despite things like having a student throw something at me today. Though it was just a small eraser...it's the idea of it all. Okay, time to rest...back at it tomorrow. Maybe I'll get some time to actually notice the reflection...the stillness...the beauty of things.

Missing Home...

I was checking my e-mail and as I logged out...I saw this flash across one of the windows on the MSN webpage:

The West's top 10 dream towns

Intrigued...I took a look. I figured somewhere in Montana had to qualify...somewhere always does, doesn't matter who's list it is. So...as I perused...I found Bozeman at number 4. I loved living in Bozeman. I'm originally from Billings, MT but Bozeman was my home from fall 1998 to spring 2003. If you do the math...I spent five years there...five years obtaining my bachelor's...yes...five years. I started out declaring a major (don't do it) and ended up not liking it like I thought I would. Engineering...could you see me as an engineer? Hmmm...so somehow...don't really know how...teaching struck me as a possible career. Turns out I've found my calling and I'm now in my 6th year of teaching at AV.

Here's what the MSN list had to say about Bozeman:

4. Bozeman, Mont.

Population: 38,000
Median home price: $299,000

The college town (Montana State University) boasts a picture-perfect setting at the base of the Gallatin Range -- and terrific hiking, fly-fishing and skiing. And a charm-filled downtown. So why doesn't everybody live here? Maybe it's those 14-degree highs in January.

Notice the median home price...I have a friend still lives there that talks the home prices...amazing. I spent a lot of time in schools during my teacher prep that has me wondering...how are these teachers living there with an average starting income of 19,000 a year. Thus...I'm here in MO...well...it's not the only reason...but a reason I'm not in Montana right now. I still have my Montana teaching license though...I maintain that "just in case."

Okay, the point of this post is I'm missing home. Whenever the weather gets like this...it feels like home. Low humidity...cool...perfect for a fire. Also...I'm about to enter a tough season in my professional life. Deadlines, meetings, trying new things...I've got a lot going on in the next month or so. Nothing like the seemingly care-free days of college life. So...if you're ever out west, you've got to go to Bozeman. Go skiing at Bridger Bowl, eat at the Pickle Barrel on College Street, check out the Rockin' R, catch something at the Emerson, get a coffee at the Leaf and Bean, some Moose Drool at Ale Works, head down to Bogart Park, head up to Hyalite... with lot's more to do. Let me know...I may meet you out there. I'm definitely going to make sure Sarala grows up experiencing all the awesome Montana-type stuff...like a yearly ski trip since I'm not coaching anymore...anyone want to go?

Under Pressure...

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life.
James 1:2-4, 12

I've been thinking about this idea of "fearless faith" since the weekend. Faith under pressure...under pressure making me think of the Queen/David Bowie song of the same name. This idea of "believing God's truth versus the facts" was mind-blowing for me. Sarala's journey has been our journey. It has done marvelous things with my faith-life...showed me that I need to believe God...no matter what. It was tough and there were doubts...but ultimately peace and guidance came through much prayer...seeking God. I talked to him so much through those times...makes me ashamed that we don't talk as much now. I learned some amazing life lessons that have forever changed my perspective and attitude. I still struggle with things, but I am confident that God is working...regardless of what I am seeing or experiencing.

Though facts can look daunting...God is bigger than all of that. It has done exactly what James is talking about above...I've been rewarded life and more life through Sarala. Amazing...truly amazing!

I love the way James says this (the message translation) "You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors." How true this is. Faith-life. Do you have a faith-life? It's interesting how God works as circumstances, trial, fire bring our faith out into the open. We get to see where we are lacking...that's where God can make up for what we don't have or can't do.

So...I leave you with this...how is faith-life holding up these days? Have hope...be encouraged...talk to God...and remember that you've got people around you who can provide an ear to listen and help if needed.

Believing As Opposed to Believing "in"

I was reminded about a great story this weekend that I haven't thought about in awhile. I guess I shouldn't call it a "story" since it comes out of the Bible. Ol' Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. These were three young men who chose to believe God's truth despite the facts of their situation. They were destined to die...being thrown into a hot, hot fire because they wouldn't bow down and worship a gold image of King Nebuchadnezzar.

They chose to have faith...believing that God will save them, rescue them...not just believing in God and compromising. God came through in a big way that blew minds. Still does. I think about this and compare it to how Crystal and I approached Sarala's situation.

Here we had a baby girl that nobody wanted. We found out about her three days after she was born. The facts were that no one wanted her...she was born 9 weeks premature...she had grade 3 hemorraghe...hydrocephalus...meth in her system...was 2 pounds 8 ounces.

A medical social worker kept emphasizing these facts and tried to talk us out of adopting her because of these things. I don't know how to explain it but I...we...had total peace in our decision to make Sarala ours. At that point I decided to believe that God could heal her...that He would heal her...we definitely thought He should heal her...but if He didn't...we still had peace. She was ours...no matter what.

I prayed...fasted...and started an incredible journey with God that continues to this day. We began to hear of improvements as the days went on. She spent a total of 67 days in the NICU in San Francisco. She then went into a high-risk medical foster until she came to live with us March 8 of 2007. What an amazing time...still is. I'm still blown away by what God has done with Sarala and what he's doing through her. I love it. He honored our faith.

So...when it comes down to it...believe God over the facts. The facts mean nothing in the face of an almighty, loving, indescribable Father

Taking a Small "Break"

Okay...I've been blogging almost everyday now for awhile. I'm going to continue...but I needed a break. We had progress reports that needed to go out at school on Friday...along with some Professional Development that occurred in the afternoon. Needless to say...I was pretty wore out when I got home. On top of those things...we went and looked at a house last night. Exciting. Should we do it...I don't know. We're praying about it. We definitely need the space...especially if we're going to provide a sibling for Sarala. So...I leave you with this...as well as myself. If we get the house...awesome...if not...awesome.

I'll be back to blog once I return home from playing music tonight....

I Knew It...

Ever since I moved here from Montana, Crystal and I have had this conversation...not really an argument...about what to call carbonated beverage. I grew up calling it "pop" and I occasionally hear someone call it that around here. She says its' "soda"...but I found this map that supports my claim...that it's "pop" more places than "soda." Also...it's "coke" down towards Texas...which is something I didn't know until I moved here. Another one of those regional things I guess.

Another 'Happy Day'!

I'd like to wish my beautiful wife a happy birthday! Sarala and I love you very much and we hope that you have a wonderful day.

Gotta Love Cards/Cubs...

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What a great night for baseball...the weather was fantastic and I got a chance to have an impromptu date night with Crystal. Even though it was on a school night...it was something that was awesome and much needed. I didn't think about school once...how about that. Also...the Cards won, which Pujols jacked a 3-run homer in the sixth to tie it...then they went on to win in the bottom of the ninth.

It was one of those deals where it wasn't planned but turned out to be a blast...or as a friend of ours has said...B-A-L-S-T.

Trying Something New...

Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
Ephesians 4:29

This picture illustrates what life can be like within the confines of the Buckman household. A beautiful little girl walking around in her daddy's shoes. This picture also makes me smile and refocuses my thoughts and feelings...no matter the type of day I've had.

I say this because I'm in the process of trying something new. Something new in the way I teach, the way I speak, the way I think...it's a necessity right now for my survival and sanity. Negativity only breeds negativity. I'm surrounded by negativity on a daily basis. I've got to make a decision not to add to the bad...and if I'm going to talk...it's going to be, as Paul says above "good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." My colleagues and I are in this together...feeling the same way. It's been tough but we'll make it...we've got a great group of people working together...plus it helps that they're in it for the right reasons.

So...with it being almost 11 pm, having just finished grading papers and working on similar things...it's time for rest.

Some Amazing People...

So let's not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don't give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith.
Galatians 6:9-10

God is pretty awesome. He knows exactly what to do to keep us going, encouraged, reminding us that He loves us. This can happen through his creation...people.... I just returned from our first life-group gathering of the year and I'm fired up. God is doing some amazing things and I'm excited for what's next. Our group has already "launched" a new group and God immediately filled our empty seats. How awesome?!

Again, another opportunity to share life with someone. The picture above comes from my visit to Montana...a great time of rest and a refresher from an exhausting school year. I've been in a similar state of mind...chaotic...needing rest and God dropped some stuff on me this weekend that felt like a punch in the head. I don't need to feel insecure about what I'm doing...God's put me where I am for a reason. I need to continue to trust him...and remember that I'm loved and covered through Christ.

So...the title says something about amazing people. I've been blessed with the chance to lead an amazing group of people through our life-group. I've seen things play out that I've only read about in the bible.... The growth and development has been awesome. It only looks to continue...with some new individuals. Why wouldn't we want to share our experiences with everyone? So, I thank God for this chance, the chance to lead, the chance to share life with his people, the chance to life a full and abundant life.

The verse above serves as a piece of encouragement...again from Paul. Sometimes it can seem like we're not making much progress...but God is working...doing His thing. Where do we begin...

"with the people closest to us in the community of faith."

Life with a Toddler...

God, brilliant Lord, yours is a household name.

Nursing infants gurgle choruses about you;
toddlers shout the songs
That drown out enemy talk,
and silence atheist babble.
I look up at your macro-skies, dark and enormous,
your handmade sky-jewelry,
Moon and stars mounted in their settings.
Then I look at my micro-self and wonder,
Why do you bother with us?
Why take a second look our way
Psalm 8:1-4

The life of Sarala is a constant reminder of how awesome God is. I think about her history and how, in her short time on this Earth, God has done amazing things. The picture above is from this past summer...her pre-toddler days...but a glimpse of what was to come. She is now two...has been since August 26th. We are seeing her develop such a beautiful, lively personality. This picture is how she rolls...loving life.

So...starting with this I'm going to admit how I've had a rough couple days...weeks. Like always...I've tried to handle them myself. That never has worked...never will, yet I continue. Stupid...I know...but I'm trying to get better about it. I've let old feelings and different things influence my thoughts and therefore influence my state of mind. I've been very negative lately. I've felt almost hopeless. Am I really doing anything?

This started with how my school year has gone...but then it began to bleed into every aspect of my life. I've always had a hard time dealing with grace. It was hard for me to even begin to grasp how a God...so huge...so awesome...could worry about someone like myself. Like the Psalm above says...why would he bother with me? Then...I experienced it for myself. A new life...reborn. I still struggle though with things from the past that seem to come up at certain times. I can now almost predict when I will begin to be "attacked." That's about the only way I can describe it.

I'd like to thank God for placing Crystal in my life. She loves me...and I love her. She's helped me through these times and has once again. I'm now on the backside of dealing with things. They are coming less and are now farther between...but I still deal with things. That's when I hear truth being spoken...as hard as it can be to hear sometimes...from my wonderful wife. Again, I thank God for her.

As a result...I try and keep some things in mind. I can't deal with stuff alone. I need to share them others. Also, I need to continue to look to God in all things. He cares about everything...from the little things to the huge. He loves us...me in spite of myself.

One of the verses that I love...and need to remember...comes from the words of Paul. His life and writings (most of the new testament) are awesome things to have for guidance, example, direction.

My grace is enough; it's all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Now, in context...Paul has something that he's dealing with that is a reminder of how much he needs God...grace. Weakness...I've been there. I too have something that keeps me weak. I strive to have the attitude of Paul in these things...to let Christ take over!

Thank you Jesus for loving me...for providing rest, peace...strength in spite of everything...myself.

Now I'm off to bed for some actual rest...and I leave you with the words of Paul...

Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn't get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it's all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.
2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Headaches...

Headaches. Life can cause headaches. Right now I'm battling against a headache. No reason for this one other than allergies...sinus'.... So...I didn't get a chance to update the ol' blog...but at the same time I didn't want to post "nothing." I took some Tylenol and am waiting for it to finish the job. Ate a frozen Charleston Chew with Sarala...had some caffeine...now to eat lunch. I think we'll kick this thing before too long...then off to enjoy a BEAUTIFUL SATURDAY! Gotta love the cool weather...reminds me of home. The weather was like this in Montana...a little cooler even...when we were there in...JUNE...that's right...June. I love it...miss it.

Sanctuary...

God's a safe-house for the battered, a sanctuary during bad times. The moment you arrive, you relax; you're never sorry you knocked.
Psalm 9:9

I love coming home...regardless of what kind of day I've had...home is always a sanctuary. I'm thankful for that. That's the way it should be. You can't let drama, craziness, stress, etc. invade your home. One thing I've always tried to do is to leave school at school. Having Sarala at home makes this much easier.

Something new that we're doing is eating dinner at her table. Normally we try and eat at ours but we have a gathering table so the chairs are pretty tall. Sarala has a small butterfly table so lately I've been pulling up a chair and eating with her. Since then she's been expecting me to eat with her. I love it.

The picture above is her tearin' up some catfish with "dip", which is ketchup. She's always been a great eater. Whenever I'm tired, worn out...I know I can come home and hang out, play, and eat with my baby girl. God works through these times to provide rest even though I'm not actually "resting." I relax though...loosen up. All of this is possible because God is ultimately the "sanctuary." He's a part of our home...daily life. It's awesome...I know I use the word a lot, but it is...the way He healed Sarala. She's got a great story that will provide comfort for her in knowing that she's taken care of...by her parents of course...but ultimately God...He's watching over her. She's God's baby.

So...disconnect...leave work at work. Come home to rest. I know that necessity sometimes requires work to come with you...but only bring the "actual" work home...leave the rest (stress, feelings, worry...) or talk to God about it.

The Subtle Ways...

Committed and persistent work pays off;
get-rich-quick schemes are ripoffs.
Playing favorites is always a bad thing;
you can do great harm in seemingly harmless ways.
If you think you know it all, you're a fool for sure;
real survivors learn wisdom from others.
Proverbs 28:20-21, 26

I had a wonderful conversation today which came at the perfect time. I love how God works like that. This morning I thought to myself...why haven't I prayed about this? The "this" I'm referring to is the school year thus far. Like I've stated in other posts...it's not going quite like I planned. Therefore...I'm quite tired...worn out...weary. I figured I should probably talk to God about it...which is something I should've been doing all along.

This talk took place as I was prepping my room for the day...turning on the computer, writing the date, organizing my desk. The seemingly mundane things I do everyday provides an awesome opportunity to talk to God about things...so I did. Now, it's not like he spoke right back...but I did feel a sense of peace. The morning didn't go so well so I left my kids in the care of the P.E. teacher for their gym class and went back to my room to mentally prepare for what I thought would be a crazy day.

At that point the teacher that I did my student teaching with came in and asked how things were going. I was honest and stated that they were not going at all...backwards maybe. That's when she shared some insight that proved to be so valuable and encouraging. That's where these verses from Proverbs come from above.
The first phrase is so true that it's stupid...committed and persistent work pays off. That's my plan right now. No matter how hard and annoying it may be...I need to commit to doing a good job. Why...because it's my job and it's what I love to do...my students deserve no less. Also, the persistence thing...wow. It may take some time, but my class will get there...we just need to keep practicing, moving, working.

The second verse is something that I maintain...stick to no matter what. I love that I have the advantage of not being from around here so it doesn't matter "who" the student is that I've got in my class...I'm going to treat them fairly and respectfully no matter what.

The last verse refers to "real survivors." I'd like to think of myself as a "real survivor" right now, in the sense of my career. The wisdom that was shared with me this morning made me realize that I'll make it...especially if I take the good from those around me who have the experience and heart. I have to remind myself that I'm only in my sixth year of teaching...I don't know it all...I probably don't even know a part of what I could know.

So...I'm back to feeling productive, encouraged...now to get some sleep before another day with the small children.

Sarala's "Happy Day"

Sarala has been calling her birthday her "happy day." I love it! The simple words of a toddler...it is her happy day...so that's what we've been calling it as we've looked at pictures and talked about it since. She's two years old now. Amazing...considering she had a very rough start in this world. I'd like to believe that Sarala knows who took care of her in the NICU in the early months of her life.

We've also been listening to a lot of music lately...and one of the current favorites is...you guessed it..."Happy Day" which is written by Tim Hughes and a song we play at church. She belts out "Happy Day" when it gets to the chorus...pretty awesome. The video at the bottom of this post is Kristian Stanfill and the band at 722 playing "Happy Day." What a happy day...greatest day in history...death is beaten, you have rescued me...shout it out...Jesus is alive...Oh Happy Day...you washed my sin away...I'll never be the same.... How about that for a happy day?!

The Plan...

As water reflects a face,
so a man's heart reflects the man.
Proverbs 27:19

God planned for us to do good things and to live as he has always wanted us to live. That's why he sent Christ to make us what we are.
Ephesians 2:10

I love this picture...the passion...the talent. This is a picture of Robbie Seay of the Robbie Seay Band. We got a chance to see them this past August in Decatur, IL. I would love to do what he does...but I'm not for various reasons. We are all doing what we do for a reason. For example...Robbie Seay writes and plays music. This is what he does. Will he do it all his life...we'll see. Wade Buckman teaches and plays music...will he do this all his life...we'll see. I'm content with the present though.

I used to coach basketball in addition to my teaching duties...but it's as if God were said "Okay...you've done what you've needed to do...I know you love it...but it's time to move on." It was a hard decision to make. Five years of working with kids. I'm now just a teacher;) I am now awaiting what's next. This time of waiting has been pretty awesome though...a great opportunity to spend time with my wife and small child. I'm forever thankful for that.

Back to the point I was trying to make...we all have different things we need to do within the kingdom of God. My job right now is to teach. Sure it'd be great to work in ministry and get paid for it...but I am working in ministry. It'd also be awesome to just play music for a living...but again...I get to do it almost every weekend...playing a couple different instruments. My teaching position puts me in a great spot to influence kids and their parents. It's vital that I try to exhibit as much of Christ as I can while going throughout my day. Through teaching reading, lunch, recess, discipline...I need to reflect who I truly am and what I'm about.

The verse from Proverbs above is so simple yet huge...As water reflects a face,
so a man's heart reflects the man. Wow! It's important for us as Christ-followers to be true to who we are. We all have different passions, likes, dislikes, skills, abilities...for a reason. We're all different but must remain unified in Christ. I'm going to end with a little help from Paul:

In light of all this, here's what I want you to do. While I'm locked up here, a prisoner for the Master, I want you to get out there and walk—better yet, run!—on the road God called you to travel. I don't want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don't want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline—not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences.
Ephesians 4:1-3

So...walk—better yet, run!—on the road God called you to travel.