Life with a Toddler...

God, brilliant Lord, yours is a household name.

Nursing infants gurgle choruses about you;
toddlers shout the songs
That drown out enemy talk,
and silence atheist babble.
I look up at your macro-skies, dark and enormous,
your handmade sky-jewelry,
Moon and stars mounted in their settings.
Then I look at my micro-self and wonder,
Why do you bother with us?
Why take a second look our way
Psalm 8:1-4

The life of Sarala is a constant reminder of how awesome God is. I think about her history and how, in her short time on this Earth, God has done amazing things. The picture above is from this past summer...her pre-toddler days...but a glimpse of what was to come. She is now two...has been since August 26th. We are seeing her develop such a beautiful, lively personality. This picture is how she rolls...loving life.

So...starting with this I'm going to admit how I've had a rough couple days...weeks. Like always...I've tried to handle them myself. That never has worked...never will, yet I continue. Stupid...I know...but I'm trying to get better about it. I've let old feelings and different things influence my thoughts and therefore influence my state of mind. I've been very negative lately. I've felt almost hopeless. Am I really doing anything?

This started with how my school year has gone...but then it began to bleed into every aspect of my life. I've always had a hard time dealing with grace. It was hard for me to even begin to grasp how a God...so huge...so awesome...could worry about someone like myself. Like the Psalm above says...why would he bother with me? Then...I experienced it for myself. A new life...reborn. I still struggle though with things from the past that seem to come up at certain times. I can now almost predict when I will begin to be "attacked." That's about the only way I can describe it.

I'd like to thank God for placing Crystal in my life. She loves me...and I love her. She's helped me through these times and has once again. I'm now on the backside of dealing with things. They are coming less and are now farther between...but I still deal with things. That's when I hear truth being spoken...as hard as it can be to hear sometimes...from my wonderful wife. Again, I thank God for her.

As a result...I try and keep some things in mind. I can't deal with stuff alone. I need to share them others. Also, I need to continue to look to God in all things. He cares about everything...from the little things to the huge. He loves us...me in spite of myself.

One of the verses that I love...and need to remember...comes from the words of Paul. His life and writings (most of the new testament) are awesome things to have for guidance, example, direction.

My grace is enough; it's all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Now, in context...Paul has something that he's dealing with that is a reminder of how much he needs God...grace. Weakness...I've been there. I too have something that keeps me weak. I strive to have the attitude of Paul in these things...to let Christ take over!

Thank you Jesus for loving me...for providing rest, peace...strength in spite of everything...myself.

Now I'm off to bed for some actual rest...and I leave you with the words of Paul...

Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn't get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it's all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.
2 Corinthians 12:7-10