Driving and Listening...

I had to cruise out to Wal-Mart...well...I guess I didn't "have to", but in order to affect positive change correctly within my classroom management system...I needed tickets. I checked out ALCO...but alas...didn't have them. I waited until Sarala went to bed which had me arriving at Wal-Mart around 8pm.

If I drive anywhere alone...the time is spent listening to music, thinking, and talking to God about whatever. As my iPod shuffled through my music collection, a song came on by MercyMe called "Finally Home." Now, I'm not normally a MercyMe listener, but the song caught me because of its content...which explains why it is part of my collection. The song is about the ability to see someone you love dearly again once you "finally make it home"...in this case...your dad.

Some of you are aware of this but if you're not...my dad passed away when I was only six years old. It rocked my world. He had cancer...so I guess people had an idea that he could pass...but that's not how things work for a child. I remember not feeling any emotion at the viewing the night before the funeral. Everyone was crying...I felt horrible because I wasn't crying...because I thought I was supposed to. I was sad...but the brevity of the situation hadn't struck me...again...I was only six. This event changed my life. We had to move...my mom had to go to work...new neighborhood in a rougher part of town...life with a single parent...a little brother to help take care of...too much for a little kid.

I often think about how life would be different if he didn't die. I think about all of the "man" stuff I had to learn on my own or teach myself. I think about my insecurities and how his living could have affected them...made them non-existent in some cases. I also think of the day that I'll get to see him again...along with many others that I've lost along the way...my older bro...my grandpa.... How amazing will that be?


There is this book I read by Donald Miller "To Own a Dragon: Reflections On Growing Up Without A Father" that has helped me remember that I'm not the only one out there who grew up without a dad. I think about how little Sarala is my best friend...that I want to and would do anything in my power to be around for her. I see the positives of this already within our relationship and it makes me happy.

And as I think about that day...like the song says...

I'm gonna wrap my arms around my daddy's neck and tell him that I've missed him

And tell him all about the man that I became and hope that it pleased him